Stagehands
by hearmelaugh
Summary: This had to be, thought Gwendal, the only show in the world where what happened backstage was more enthralling than what happened on it. Yuuri and Wolfram theatrical AU


Disclaimer: Don't own. And those who don't like this sort of thing, as before, do avert your eyes. Though is is waaaaaay more vanilla than the previous, already-vanilla one XD

* * *

"You know, there's something very obviously wrong with this!"

Wolfram growled, blew his bangs off his face and _pulled_.

"Just stop whining, you wimp! He's moving off course!"

Yuuri eeped and dug his heels into the floor, tugging the rope hard. They heard the slight "Mmph!" sound as Gwendal was tugged by the harness, but heaved a relieved sigh when the older man continued reciting his lines. It was obvious that the rapt audience had not noticed Gwendal's erratic swinging, Wolfram managing to tug the guideline before the man went flying into a plastic tree.

Wolfram cocked his head to the side and listened for Gwendal's lines. He tied the wires to the handle, and ran off for the next part. Yuuri lingered until Gwendal said "And you will listen to me, you annoying little human. There is no "us". There is me protecting mine, and you, the Annoyance that Will Not Go Away"

It was a wonderfully weird version of Conrad Weller's award-winning book, "Love and War: Can You Have Both? Sure You Can-ada!"

Yuuri didn't get the title either, but the dialogue was hilarious.

He rushed after the blond.

"Wolfram! Wait!"

The blond didn't even look up, dragging a heavy chest out of a cubby-hole.

"Wimp, you know Giesela's going on in a minute for the epic battle against Adalbert, and we haven't even prepared his ridiculous armour costume yet! Hurry up!"

Yuuri rushed to help Wolfram pull out the case, and between them they got it to Adalbert's dressing room in time. Wolfram's walkie talkie buzzed static before the harried voice of Dacascos broke through, offering up yet another problem.

The blond cursed softly and was up and running again, dragging Yuuri by their joined hands.

However epic and frantic the show on stage was, it was as calm as a nap in a Buddhist Temple compared to what went on behind stage. It was the reason why Wolfram chose to handle things as a stagehand rather than appear as an actor in his brother's work.

Despite there being one blond-haired, green-eyed character with a quick temper that was written especially for him.

Yuuri had tagged along, because where Wolfram led, he would follow. The play was well-received, and since he was in charge of everything that went into making each performance a success, Wolfram traveled along with it. Yuuri couldn't let his boyfriend (well... life-partner, really. Seeing as how a Yuuri without Wolfram was, basically, a dead Yuuri) go to France and Greece and New Zealand and Brazil and have all those gorgeous actors and local fans try to seduce him.

Oh HELL no.

To that extent, he was grateful that Wolfram wasn't on stage. Because Wolfram being coy while wearing a potato sack was still an utterly shag-tastic Wolfram.

Yuuri put on a burst of speed, and pushed Wolfram into a wall before he could climb the stairs to get to Dacascos in the control room.

"Wimp, I swear to God I will-"

And Yuuri kissed him, a theatrical one in keeping with the setting, full of delicious lip-smacking sounds, and the odd purr or so.

Wolfram pushed him away, and Yuuri moved back, grinning at Wolfram before his eyes rolled back into his head as a predatory Wolf latched onto his neck.

It never failed to make him see stars. Just looking at Wolfram was like seeing a fireworks show that would never end.

Yuuri suspected he was an abject romantic; he currently felt more in the air than a still-floating Gwendal did. Perhaps he should start writing disgustingly sappy love stories about what he and Wolfram got up to when everyone else had left and they were the only ones in the theatre, dismantling the Tower of Terror.

Only he would change their names, of course. Wolfram liked making out with Yuuri in public as much as Yuuri did with Wolfram, but drew the line at making their love-lives blatantly public. Already famous for his brothers and his own budding career as an artist, Wolfram didn't need even MORE people coming after him.

Yuuri didn't want that either.

Wolfram pulled back, panting.

"Yuu.. Ri, get a grip! There's a blown fuse in one of the light systems and if we don't get it changed, Anissina will be scaring Gwendal into submission in the dark!"

He bent forward and pecked Yuuri on the lips.

"Let's get it fixed; Dacascos' gone to help Sangria, Doria and Lasagna prepare their cauldron, so the control room will be empty for us to act in as we will" Wolfram checked his watch, a smooth black Casio Yuuri had bought for him three years ago. Like Yuuri, it was dependable, loyal, Japanese and drop-dead sexy.

"At least until Act 5, but I think Effe can handle that, in case we get... _very_ carried away"

Yuuri blushed then smiled, and began dragging Wolfram instead, hurrying up the metal steps, both smiling wickedly.

There really was something to be said in working with your boyfriend in a place that was always almost pitch-black, and questionable noises were put down to actors practicing their lines. Or sound effects. Conrad was big on sound effects. It was one of the things that annoyed big brother Gwendal the most.

The door closed, and Wolf-of-all-trades, master-of-stuff fixed the fuse, not even bothering to kill the main switch (he couldn't because if he did Anissina would be laughing her victory laugh in the dark. A little electric burn wasn't anything to worry about).

"You know, Wolf, I think I want to write a novel too"

Wolfram ruffled the black hair that he loved so much, and snorted humouringly.

"What about, wimp?"

Yuuri turned and kissed the palm of the hand on his head.

"You. Then when it gets made into a play, we can make out in front of everyone and get paid for it, and stupid royals of stupid Monaco and England and Brunei would stop hounding after you"

Wolfram laughed and hugged his Yuuri.

"And on your off days I kiss your understudy?"

Yuuri growled wimpily, and pouted.

"Don't even joke about that"

"As if I'd be tempted by anyone but the biggest wimp to ever make it as Stage Assistant Manager"

Things got immediately more interesting as Yuuri decided that there was too much talk and not enough lip-touching.

oOoOoOo

Gwendal stormed off-stage, rubbing the bruise forming on his chest. Anissina could kick like a horse. "Where's Wolfram?" he said menacingly, intending to give his brother a piece of his mind for that heart-stopping swing. It wasn't like the blond to be so careless.

Anissina marched in behind him, and slapped Gwendal's back. Hard. Again.

"Don't be such a brute. Dacascos said he called boy Wolf to go and fix some wiring troubles in the control room, and Yuuri went with. What do _you_ think they're doing?"

Gwendal blushed. He had no doubt the sign "Busy snogging, come again later" was hanging on the door knob. He suspected that was the handicraft of child actress Greta, who treated the both of them as makeshift parents as they traveled, and he had long since gotten over the shock of a 15-year-old girl even _knowing_ what snogging meant.

The scariest thing was that Yuuri and Wolfram were always so busy doing... _it_ that they never did catch the sign being put on and removed in any room they spent any long period of time in.

Gwendal wondered about the two of them, he really did. Teenage hormones weren't supposed to last this long into adulthood.

Just as he was about to sigh his reluctant defeat and go and change into the next costume, he heard a furious howl that could only be Wolf's, and rightly surmised that the sign had been found.

This had to be, thought Gwendal, the only show in the world where what happened backstage was more enthralling than what happened on it.

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A/N: I suck at titles T.T I shall try to post a new story every time the previous peace offering hits the ten review mark. That way I make myself write YSTS faster (I've got a lot of one-shots in reserve, but they aren't ENDLESS) and you guys get nonsensical established relationship AUs to chew on. I hate myself for being so shallow, but since I find myself entertaining, I'll bear with it XD AUs are fun, yes? Another of rynankh's prompt spells. You guys owe her thanks if you liked this. More silliness at a later date. Do read and review!


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